I am unsettled, anxious, uncomfortable in my skin.

Too much going on...

Every day there are messages and bulletins from our son on his situation. His 12-year old has turned defiant and disobedient, and is insisting on being with her mother regardless of the court order that her father has custody. When she is with Rob, she behaves so badly that he wonders if he is doing the right thing trying to keep her in his home. But he knows that she is just warming up with him. If she is allowed to continue to behave this way, her mother will be the next in line to deal with defiance. When she wants to visit her boyfriend when no parents are home. When she wants to stay out too late. It's all just over the horizon. Meanwhile, there are signs that she is being fed emotional poison. Rob writes it all in his journal, and takes things one day at a time.

It is budget time at work. I am realizing that I am about a week behind where I was last year - continued blowback from my medical leave this winter, probably. I am always antsy this time of year, because it is so hard to see just how deep the hole is that I have to fill. So far all of the grant budgets I have worked on cannot be considered to be done. Yesterday I was informed that another organization in our network wants a bigger cut of a funding stream that is flat-funded, and it is a very politically-charged situation; our program manager is not happy at the prospect of the disemboweling of her program. And the other organization is not returning our phone calls and emails. Today, a program funded by the county ended up with a huge increase - too huge to submit given the current panic over rising fuel costs and recession. This program ended up being flat-funded this year because someone at the county did not update a resolution listing contracts. It has ended up being a 10-month program instead of a 12-month program for 2008. Bring it back to 12 months and add in pay increases, and suddenly you have a 19% increase. So I took out my sword, and hacked away, uneasy at being forced to make decisions. I think that my gut is giving me accurate feedback, though, when it says that the original budget was not submittable.

I make good decisions - mostly.

Yet another event of this week, which feels so long already although today is only hump day, was yesterday's storm. A violent thunderstorm tore through the area, knocking down trees and knocking out power. We were among the powerless last night. I slept fitfully to the sound of a neighbor's generator. Power was supposed to be on at noon, but at 7 PM it was still off. Robert got the generator working, but could not figure out how to get electricity to the circuits that power the well pump and the hot water heater. When I found out that there was still no water at home, I knew that I had to have some chocolate. I bought water on the way home, and a Dove dark chocolate bar. I got chocolate on my clothes on the way home, and fretted about being unable to take a shower. As I drew near to home, I saw the utility trucks pulling out. I looked for the tell-tale orange flag tacked to a power pole, saying that the electricity stops here, and could not find one. In fact, our neighbors all seemed to have power. When I got home, the generator was running. I told Robert that I thought we had power back. He went out, flipped the switch from generator to the grid, and voila - the lights came back on, this time with utility power.

YAY! I can take a shower in the morning, and have a cup of coffee!

But boy, we REALLY need to clean out the refrigerator now. The science experiments took right off during the power outage.

Robert was full of positive news.
He got the generator going.
He rewired the breaker box so that we will have water the next time we need to use the generator.
The carpenters finished another huge chunk of siding installation today.
The west wall is ready for siding.

I am crossing my fingers that I will have some good news to bring home tomorrow.


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